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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29562102">House of Tucker Top Ten Lists</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/HouseOfTucker_Archivist/pseuds/HouseOfTucker_Archivist'>HouseOfTucker_Archivist</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Trek: Enterprise</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Humor, Lists</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 21:47:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>234</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29562102</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/HouseOfTucker_Archivist/pseuds/HouseOfTucker_Archivist</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Ten Reasons Why A Phase Pistol Is Better Than Trip</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>1) A phase pistol will never leave you to chase after some alien 
      woman.</p>
<p>2) It won’t make snarky comments when it’s tired.</p>
<p>3) It doesn’t 
      care if you’re feeling gloomy. Or even writing letters to all the women in 
      San Francisco.</p>
<p>4) It gets itself (and you) OUT of dangerous situations 
      rather than into them.</p>
<p>5) It never pulls rank.</p>
<p>6) The Captain doesn’t 
      get fed up if a phase pistol wants to spend all its time with you instead 
      of watching water polo.</p>
<p>7) You never have to worry about it getting 
      stranded somewhere.</p>
<p>8) If it gets hurt, there are plenty of others just 
      as good.</p>
<p>9) Practice really will make perfect.</p>
<p>10) Nothing you say can 
      ever upset it.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Ten Reasons Why The Warp Engine Is Better Than Malcolm</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>1) The warp engine is never in a bad mood.</p><p>2) It doesn’t mind if you 
      meet a beautiful alien.</p><p>3) It doesn’t laugh at you when you’re stuck 
      semi-naked in a swamp with an annoying princess, or when  you get pregnant, 
      or when someone else’s wife is hitting on you, or...</p><p>4) You can fix its 
      problems.</p><p>5) It’s always ready to make soothing noises, even at 
      2am.</p><p>6) Attacking it with a spanner actually helps.</p><p>7) You understand 
      how it works.</p><p>8) It doesn’t blame you for getting it into trouble.</p><p>9) 
      It never flirts with other people.</p><p>10) You will never say anything to 
      reinforce its fundamental insecurities.</p>
  </div></div>
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